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Apple held its second big hardware event of the year on homemade amature sex videosTuesday — this time with iPhones.

Because time is broken in 2020, you might not remember that Apple had an event last month, during which it unveiled the Apple Watch Series 6, Apple Fitness+, and new iPad Air.

Here is everything Apple announced at its October event, as it was announced chronologically. (Note: Some text from our original liveblog has been cut or modified.)

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And we're starting! Tim Cook introduces the HomePod mini.

HomePod mini

The smart speaker has a backlit touchscreen on the top for controlling volume, skipping songs, etc. Multiple speakers can play in sync across your home. If you put two in the same room, they'll automatically become a stereo pair.

They're talking up Siri now... which, yeah. Google's Nest Audio and Amazon's new Echo have the upper hand there. Apple really wants you to use HomePod mini and for Siri to control your smart home.

Ohh, interesting... Apple introduces "Intercom." Basically, you can use your HomePod mini as an intercom and leave messages that can be listened to on other devices.

HomePod mini comes in white and Space Gray for $99. Pre-orders start on Nov. 6, and they ship starting the week of Nov. 16.

SEE ALSO: Apple announces HomePod mini smart speaker

And now Tim Cook officially announces that the new iPhones will have 5G. Verizon says it's "doubling down" on its 5G Ultra-Wideband Network. It's fast... if you can find it.

Tim Cook confirms every iPhone 12 model will have 5G connectivity.

iPhone 12 and iPhone 12 mini

The iPhone 12 has "smooth, flat edges." Damn, it looks good. It's available in black, white, red, green, and blue.

The iPhone 12 features a Super Retina XDR display with a 2 million: 1 contrast ratio.

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Corning developed something called "ceramic shield" to protect the display. Apple says it has 4X better drop performance.

Apple says the iPhone 12 can reach 4Gbps in "ideal conditions." Good luck finding those conditions!

Now Apple is talking about the iPhone 12's A14 bionic chip. Apple says it's 50 percent faster than any other smartphone processor. Apparently, it's so fast it can run a mobile version of Riot's League of Legends.

It's camera time: The iPhone 12 has a wide and ultra-wide lens and Night Mode on the rear and front cameras for low-light Portrait mode selfies.

The iPhone 12 now has what it calls "MagSafe" wireless charging. That's basically a magnet on the back of the iPhone. It lets you snap the iPhone onto accessories thanks to the POWER OF MAGNETS.

Apple announces a new dual charger that can power your iPhone 12 and Apple Watch at the same time. Who needs you, AirPower??? Not Apple.

It's true: No headphones or charger is included with the new iPhone 12 models, which Apple is touting as an environmental measure.

The mini! Credit:

The iPhone 12 mini is exactly the same as the iPhone 12 but ... mini, with a 5.4-inch screen.

And the prices are:

• iPhone 12 mini: $699

• iPhone 12: $799

SEE ALSO: Apple unveils iPhone 12 and iPhone 12 Mini with 5G support

The iPhone 12 and 12 mini are available for preorder on Oct. 16 for delivery on Oct. 23.

iPhone 12 Pro and iPhone 12 Pro Max

Oooh, the new Pro models come in a very nice gold color. Plus graphite, silver, and blue. Sizes are what we expected:

• iPhone 12 Pro: 6.1-inch display

• iPhone 12 Pro Max: 6.7-inch display

The 12 Pro has an ultra-wide, wide, and telephoto lens.

Meanwhile, the 12 Pro Max has a new pixel sensor that's 47 percent larger than before. That allows for 87 percent better performance in low light.

And now photographers can shoot in Apple ProRAW, which stores all the information of RAW files, but with the adjustments of Apple's computational photography. You can also record video in 10-bit HDR.

Apple confirmed the iPhone 12 Pro models will have a LiDAR sensor. The company says it helps the iPhone 12 Pro focus in low light 6X faster than before.

And the prices are:

• iPhone 12 Pro: $999 with 128GB storage

• iPhone 12 Pro Max: $1,099 with 128 GB storage

The iPhone 12 Pro and 12 Pro Max are available for preorder Nov. 6 for delivery on Nov. 13.

SEE ALSO: Apple reveals the iPhone 12 Pro and iPhone 12 Pro Max It's Apple time, people. Credit: Bob Al-Greene/Mashable

Topics iPhone