If you're Lord of the Ringsfan,Japanese sex movies your teenage dreams may have involved naked Orlando Bloom paddle boarding while you chill out, drinking a beer.
Katy Perry lives in that world.
Bloom and Perry -- Berry, as they should certainly be called -- enjoyed a day at the beach untethered by the responsibility of the couple's Tamagotchi children, as documented by The New York Daily News.
The photos, taken in Sardinia, Italy, are censored by the Curse of the Black Box. But you can always count on the fine people of the internet to using their imaginations to determine whether Bloom's packing a hobbit or an orc.
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They will not rest until they have the real thing.
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Bloom was recently spotted at the Democratic National Convention supporting his girls, Katy and Hillary, but he opted to wear pants on that occasion.
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