Christian numerologist David Meade's theory that the world will end on school girls sex videosSept. 23, due to what he sees as biblical signs, has thus far been met with dull shrugs from the world's citizens.
Here to comment is God.
Well, it's official: I'm God and I am a frigging huge moron! I completely forgot that I was supposed to end the world today.
Today is Sept. 23, 2017 and that guy who said the world was supposed to end today was totally correct. But jeez louise, I freakin' completely blanked on it.
Boy oh boy, do I feel like a friggin' DOOF or what?
SEE ALSO: 5 tragedies throughout history that Obama really should've handled betterHere I am with nothing really going on, it’s the middle of the afternoon and I realize, "Oh SHIT -- I was supposed to end the WORLD!"
Honestly how I forgot this is BEYOND me.
I saw the Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse riding out this morning and opening the first four of the seven seals and I was just like "What are these goofballs up to?" I didn’t think anything of it really. Then, like wayyylater, it hit me: AH! THAT’S MY CUE TO END THE WORLD.
Ugh. I completely forgot. I was supposed to flood earth with fire, disease, and evil the likes humanity has never seen and it just went right over my head. Gahhh, this is so embarrassing.
I set up the whole thing! The eclipse, the alignment of several planets and constellations, the forming of a secret hidden planet called Nibiru -- all of it. To be honest I don't even remember what I told those guys, but I just saw in my cal that it was supposed to be TODAY!
Ugh, I just totally pooched it. Again!
Ugh, I just totally pooched it.
My boss is gonna have my ass for this. I was supposed to end the world so many times by now and I just keep fucking it up. What’s my excuse this time? Come on, God, get it together dude. Stupid stupid stupid!
I just tried to login into my apocalypse machine and, Jesus Christ, wouldn’t you know it, I forgot the password. This is just perfect. I’ve tried all my passwords and NOTHING. “12345678” “tacos” “tacos1” “Tacos1” “Tacos1!” “godiscool” everything. What the hell is it? Oh well. Too late anyway, gonna have to hold off a few years.
Damn it.
Alright, it's gonna be 2020. That’s when the world is ending. I’ll just like make all the volcanoes go off at once or something. I don't know. I'll figure something out. 2020! I’ll set an alarm right now.
Ugh. Sorry everyone.
Thanks for reading Mashable Humor: original comedy every day. Or most days. We're people, just like you, and we're trying our best.
Instagram adds 'Recommended for You' feature to your feedStan Lee turns 95, 'Avengers' send birthday messagesFrench group files criminal complaint against AppleSoccer match gets upstaged by hilarious snowball fight between opposing fansMom, who is sadly not our mom, crochets 'Golden Girls' cast for son's ChristmasBono thinks music got 'very girly' and it's been great knowing you dudePhotos and videos from around the globe show winter's cold gripHow the women of Hollywood are fighting back against sexual harassmentThe 5 best comfort TV shows to watch this weekApple issues apology for slowing old iPhones downApple issues apology for slowing old iPhones downLin Manuel Miranda's corny New Year's blessing is what we needStan Lee turns 95, 'Avengers' send birthday messagesApple announces $29 battery replacements starting today2017 was the year women took back their own narrativesTelegram and Instagram blocked in Iran in the midst of protestsDave Chappelle just dropped two Netflix specials, but there's a problemCrowd has the best comeback after fan told to put shoes back onRipple overtakes Ethereum as the second largest cryptocurrencyLin Manuel Miranda's corny New Year's blessing is what we need This guy is every San Diego Chargers fan right now Google has some bad news for Trump ahead of his big day Critics love M. Night Shyamalan's split The Webb telescope found something exceedingly rare around a dying star 'Angry Women' display powerful protest art during Trump's inauguration week A tiny robot that drives on the sidewalk could deliver your next Postmates order The season just ended and college football is already showing its dark side Reddit plays nice and delivers lovely photos to newly Yes, there's a wage gap for Uber and Lyft drivers based on age, gender and race Everyone's favourite 'Simpsons' boss Hank Scorpio gets a punk theme song Fans uncover the backstory for the next 'Legend of Zelda' This emoji message instantly freezes some iPhones 'This is Us' will keep you crying for at least 2 more seasons Google+ isn't dead and these are the people still using it the most The FAA just settled one of the biggest drone lawsuits ever SpaceX's most recent rocket landing looks so sci Vengeful girl used the plot of 'Finding Nemo' to prank a Tinder match Rae Sremmurd's French weather report is a real crowd pleaser NASA orbiter saw something astonishing peek through Martian clouds Man dancing his heart out instantly becomes the best new meme
1.4441s , 10521.609375 kb
Copyright © 2025 Powered by 【school girls sex videos】,Exquisite Information Network